Who Do I Love The Most?
by Marblez
Summary: TORCHWOOD. The Doctor reappears in Jack's life but it is not only the Captains life that is thrown into turmoil, his lover Ianto has never felt worse. And now Jack has a terrible decision...the Doctor or Ianto? SLASH
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer; I don't own anything sad to say.

**In my world Ianto is in love with Jack, the kiss meant something in Cyberwoman and the reason Jack reacted so badly was because his lover lied ok? **

Who Do I Love Most?

Chapter One;

Ianto was alone upstairs in the cover shop as always, reading a book he'd got from the local library when the tall man came in, hands in the pockets of his brown trench style coat. His hair was brown, long and styled up into a messy fashion that suited him well and made him look like an over grown teenager as well. His smile was both kind and nervous at the same time.

"Is this the entrance to Torchwood?" he asked quietly. Ianto, trained in the art of keeping the hidden organisation hidden when people got lucky guesses didn't even blink out of sink, just put the bookmark in his book and stood. His suit hung about him easily, similar to how the pinstriped suit hung on the man. "If so can I speak to Jack Harkness, I'm an old friend." The door automatically shut itself with a click.

"What's your name?" Ianto asked, crossing his arms. There were not many people who could truly claim to be old friends of Jack's as he didn't know many people but many who wanted their secrets claimed to be so.

"The Doctor." Ianto raised his eyebrows and picked up the phone on the desk, the one linked internally to the Hub below him.

"Jack? There's a man up here claiming to be the Doctor. No he's got lots of hair and small ears," Ianto said quietly. He hummed a yes and then turned to the Doctor, pressing the phone to his chest. "He says he doesn't know you."

"I've regenerated since we last met so I look different to how he remembers. Ask him for a question only I could answer," the man, 'The Doctor' said calmly. Ianto sighed before putting the phone back up to the side of his head.

"He says he's regenerated and looks different. Also suggested that you give him a question only he could answer," Ianto spoke to Jack louder than before. "Right, ok," the phone was then held out so as to pick up 'the Doctors' answer. "Your question is this, what did Jack first call you when you met?" The man frowned and then grinned slightly.

"Rose told him my name was Mr Spock, I wasn't too impressed by him. In fact I switched his blaster with a banana," the Doctor answered with a laugh.

"Did you hear that? Jack? Jack?" Ianto asked puzzled, frowning into thin air for a few moments before putting the phone down. He was about to speak again when the hidden door opened and Jack ran out at full pelt, breathless.

"Doc?" he asked, his voice shaking. The man's hands left his pockets slowly as he nodded. "You've changed."

"That's how it works with us Time Lords but you haven't Jack," the Doctor said slowly, seeming to have trouble speaking. "It took me so long to find you."

"That's ok but where's Rose?" Jack asked. The doctor winced slightly.

"She died. At Canary Wolf." There was silence in which Ianto looked between the two men in sadness he tried to hide, so he was the Doctor that Jack dreamt about, obsessed about, the Doctor Jack loved. And the reason why Ianto knew his relationship with Jack was over.

"I'll leave you two alone," his voice sounded slightly choked as he spoke.

"Ianto…"

"It's alright Jack. You two-you two have lots of catching up to do," Ianto nodded to his captain and lover and then retreated to his office, picking up his book on the way. It was only once he was in the small office that he let the tears fall. The two men he left alone looked after him for a few moments before the Doctor pulled Jack into one of the fiercest hug either of them had ever felt.

"I have missed you so much Jack, even when Rose was still with me. Now she's gone I-I can't be alone any more," the Doctor said quietly, pressing his face in to Jack's strong shoulder.

"Then stay here with us, you could help us," Jack suggested eagerly.

"Stay? Jack I've never stayed in one place in all my long life, I don't know if I can stay still," the Doctor said sadly.

"Just for a little while then, I've got questions Doc that need answers, the important ones being how am I alive once more and why can't I die?" Jacks voice was loud but not angry. The Doctor seemed to freeze in place, staring at Jack.

"You can't die?" he asked at last.

"No, it seems not. When you meet her ask Gwen, she saw me shot in the head. Yet I'm still here," Jack said sadly, "I hoped you'd have the answers." The Doctor sighed and looked down.

"There's one plausible possibility as an answer to both of your questions," he said slowly. "Rose." Jack frowned and tilted his head to one side, reminding the Doctor for one quick moment of Jamie, the Empty Child from 1941.

"Rose?" Jack asked confused.

"To save me she looked into the heart of the TARDIS."

"That sounds bad. Isn't that what turned the Mayor of Cardiff into an egg?" Jack asked, his head tilting the other way as the Doctor nodded.

"She was possessed for lack of a better word by the TARDIS, glowing and everything. She turned the Daleks to dust with a flick of her hand and she said something about bringing life," the Doctor said quietly, "She was amazing but it was killing her so I took it from her into me and technically it killed me. That's when I became this form. I think it might have been you she talked about when she spoke of bringing life." Jack blinked a couple of times and then looked away from the Doctor at the wall.

"Rose," was all breathed with a small smile. "Did you think I was dead?"

"Yes and I'd love to know how you got here Jack, back in time and everything," the Doctor said with a small laugh. Jack didn't answer his question, rather posing some more of his own.

"So how did you know I wasn't? Dead I mean. How did you know I was here?" Jack asked with a confused frown now on his face.

"I decided to pop in to see how Earth was coping after the battle, you're doing quite well. But I tried to land in London. TARDIS wasn't having any of it and landed right on that same spot in Cardiff. She can be quite stubborn can the TARDIS, found that out a few times." The Doctor grinned at Jack and then gently stroked the American's cheek with his finger tips. "But this time I'm glad she did."

"Me too, although I've never experienced a stubborn TARDIS," Jack said with a laugh. "That must be a fun experience."

"Oh definitely, up there with that time I was stuck on a planet falling into a black hall with no idea where the TARDIS was, great day," the doctor said with a small laugh, hands returning to his pockets.

"Shall we go down to the Hub and we can catch up and talk. Oh and I'll introduce you to the team," Jack suggested, reaching over the desk to push the button. The door which had closed automatically after him opened slowly. The Doctor nodded and followed Jack, the door clanging shut behind them. It was only then, when they were both gone that Ianto emerged from the office, his eyes and cheeks red from his tears. Jack's Doctor had returned, there was no place for Ianto now.

A/N There we go, what do you think? Good or bad?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer; I don't own anything sad to say.

**In my world Ianto is in love with Jack, the kiss meant something in Cyberwoman and the reason Jack reacted so badly was because his lover lied ok? **

Who Do I Love Most?

Chapter Two;

The Doctor was being introduced to the other team members, all asking and answering questions respectively when Ianto snuck down towards Jack's room. Only Gwen noticed and said nothing as the quiet young man slipped into the out of bounds room and then exited again, in his arms a bundle of clothes and other normal items. None of which looked to be Jack's. It was the tears on his cheeks that worried the young Welsh woman.

"Come on into my room Doc and we'll talk some more," Jack said excitedly once the others ran out of 'innocent' questions. The Doctor smiled and allowed himself to be pulled away and through the door which Jack closed firmly behind the,. "Sorry about them…" he trailed off as he looked around with a frown. "Where…"

"What?" the Doctor asked.

"His things are gone," Jack said quietly, opening his wardrobe of which one side was now empty, "Everything."

"Whose Jack? What do you mean?" the Doctor asked.

"Ianto, he and I…we were…but all his stuffs gone…" Jack said, leaning down into the hole that had his large bed in it, checking between the bed sheets for Ianto's pyjama's. Around it the missing items left blank marks on the wall and amongst the hangers hung on a random pipe along the place wall met ceiling.

"He was your lover?" the Doctor asked, his voice flat.

"Yes but I told him about you, about how you had my heart and always would. He asked if there was the tiniest bit of room that could love him at least a little. I said yes. I was going to talk to him, explain and such. I didn't think…I do love Ianto as well now. He kind of grows on you," Jack said sadly, his face a picture of worry and guilt. "I didn't mean for him to…"

"Oh Jack how could he not?" the Doctor as sitting on the floor by his old friend. "You told him that you loved me, he had you for a while and probably thought you were getting over me and then when I turn up out of the blue you jump up all excited and happy, welcoming me back with open arms. Jack that probably ruined his world!" the Doctor said angrily.

"I know, I didn't mean to…" Jack said in a defeated tone. "God Doc I hate myself enough already and now I go and hurt Ianto, he already lost the woman he thought he loved and was nearly killed by a village of cannibals!"

"Are you going to tell him? Or are you going to let him believe as he does now that you would in a heartbeat choose me over him?" the Doctor asked. Jack jumped up and hurried round his desk, using his hidden computer skills to bring up the CCTV camera's of the Hub. "Well?"

"I would but…but he's left the Hub. I have no idea where he's gone Doc," Jack sat back in his chair weakly, his right hand quickly wiping his eyes. "I should never have started this with him, I should have…should have just told him no. Oh God everyone's right, I am a bastard and everything always is my fault."

"I don't really have any kind words to say to you Jack," the Doctor said sadly, folding his arms across his chest. "Only that you need to talk to him. And you need to choose. I still love you Jack but I can leave if you choose him."

"But I don't want to choose!" Jack cried, folding his arms on his desk he banged his head down onto them. "I don't think I can Doc, the time I spent with you was the best in my life, but with Ianto I'm happy. He's sweet, you're kind, I can't choose between you!"

"But you have to Jack," the Doctor said quietly as he left the office, going over to where Owen and Tosh were chatting. "So…either of you want to give me a tour of the famous Torchwood? Without locking me up for being an alien?"

"We'd love to, and we wont lock you up, after what you did at Canary Wolf for the human race you don't deserve to be. Plus you did save our found Queen Victoria," Tosh said happily, jumping up out of her seat.

"Not to mention the fact that she wants to find out every little thing about you," Owen put in, earning a slap on the arm from Tosh. The Doctor grinned and nodded, starting Tosh off with her scientific questions as well as the tour. Idly he noticed that the welsh woman, Gwen Cooper had disappeared.

Ianto sat on the bench, the black bag that he'd stuffed his things into resting in his lap, his suitcase of clothes and things that he'd kept up in his office by his side as he wiped his cheeks with his shaking fingers. For once his life had seemed to be getting better, after Lisa he'd thought he'd never be happy, after the incident in the Brecon Beacons he thought he'd never live again…and then he'd realised that through it all Jack had always been there, even when he'd been threatening to kill him he'd cared. The young Welshman could remember the first time he realised that he had fallen in love with Jack, remember how long he'd worked to get his courage up to just tell the American team leader how he felt.

**FLASHBACK**

"I love you. I. Love. You. Come on Ianto, it's three little words, you can say them to him, you can!" Ianto hit his hand against the wall by the small mirror in the male toilets. For once his perfect hair was a mess, his clothes ruffled and askew. "You can Ianto, you can tell him. And you are going to tell him right now."

He straightened his clothing and flattened his hair before pulling the door open and left the bathroom. Toshiba and Owen were arguing loudly but good naturedly over to his left. Gwen was as ever on the phone to her boyfriend, as they weren't technically on a case she had enough free time to pay some attention to the poor man. And then there was Jack, looking as sexy as ever in his tight grey trousers, white shirt and braces. He was smiling and moved as if to come over to Ianto…and that was when the young man fled.

"Ianto?" Jack called after him but the man was already running down the hall towards the small lift that would take him up to his safety zone. His room was small but the door was lockable and he felt safe and hidden. Knees giving out he collapsed onto his previously tidy bed and hugged himself, trying to comfort himself for being such a coward. For that was what he truly way, a coward.

Down below in the Hub everyone was equally confused by the behaviour of the quietest member of their group. He'd looked positively terrified as he'd turned and run, terrified of Jack of all people. Something was wrong with their friend and they didn't know what.

**END FLASHBACK**

He was pulled from his memories by someone sitting beside him on the bench and putting a small and gentle arm around his shoulders, another small and feminine hand resting on his knee. A sigh left him and he leaned into the breath.

"Ianto? Do you want to talk?" it was Gwen, who else could it have been. Tosh was probably worshipping the Doctor by now.

"It's nothing Gwen, or rather it's nothing now," Ianto answered her quietly.

"Is this about the Doctor?" Gwen asked, "And Jack?"

"Like I said it's nothing now…do you have a spare room Gwen?" Ianto asked, looking at her. She frowned but nodded. "May I stay the night, I'll have to see if my old apartment's still available." Gwen nodded once more, her mind a whirl with suspicions, conclusions and realisations. Ianto had been staying in the Hub with Jack, now the Doctor was back and Ianto had fled. There was something missing, something important about the facts she'd now realised.

"Why are you leaving the Hub?" Gwen asked.

"It's nothing Gwen, it just makes things easier," Ianto said sadly.

"For who?" Ianto didn't answer and Gwen didn't ask again.

A/N There we go, tell me what you think and I can take it if you think its crap.


End file.
